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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Hey bro, please stop using all the good skipping rocks at the river.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

This meeting could have been an oil painting.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,270

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Woke up and immediately broke my resolution to be less sexy this year.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Going viral on Reddit:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Spotted on Twitch:

Guy smoking weed daily: “I think smoking weed in moderation is fine.”

Just landed via Twitch:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Spotted on Twitch:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Trending via Twitch:

Lord, take away my suffering and give it to anyone who’s ever said, ‘Hey, Grok.’

678 Funny activity quotes

More funny activity quotes 👇

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

3 weeks ago

activity, everything, friends, get over, hang, hang out, humor, i, just, life, me, need, over
Just saw someone my age running and she wasn’t chasing an ice-cream truck.

3 weeks ago

activity, age, chasing, fitness, humor, ice cream, just, running, someone, truck
I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

3 weeks ago

activity, eat, ever, excuse, fear, hour, humor, i, last, never, procrastination, swim, think
I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

3 weeks ago

9pm, activity, flow, gal, humor, night, parallel, parking, preference, spontaneity
Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

3 weeks ago

activity, baseball, broke, fight, game, humor, i, joke, sports, unexpected, yesterday
Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

3 weeks ago

activity, actually, alone, alone time, care, eat, eating, eating out, ever, going, me, me time, most, peace, peaceful, relaxation, self, self-care, shopping, solo, solo activity, therapy, things, time, yourself
That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

3 weeks ago

activity, comfort, comfort food, corner, eating, food, humor, indulgence, me, Nutella, solo, solo activity, spoon
Driving is great because it combines my love of sitting with my love of being mad.

3 weeks ago

activity, being, comedy, driving, frustration, great, humor, love, mad, sitting
Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

3 weeks ago

activity, advice, basketball, dating, dating advice, easy, finger, fun, fun activity, getting, girlfriend, just, relationship, relationship tips, spin, tips
Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

3 weeks ago

activity, age, changes, fitness, fun, fun activity, humor, i, life, life changes, mid-forty, parkour, take, think

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All funny activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Telegram this month:

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

50 shares on X this month:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

23 shares on Instagram this month:

My bit for Thanksgiving is going to be constantly bringing up politics, but pronouncing every politician’s name slightly incorrectly.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Sometimes my toddler throws stuff on the floor and then shouts “OH NO” and that’s kind of like what politicians do.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Your annoying online persona has captured my heart.

Shared recently on Messenger:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you’re going to give me some food for thought, it had better be a pizza, or I’m out.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

If you tell me to make myself at home, I’m going to ask you to leave.

Trending via Threads:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.

Spreading quickly via X:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Activity Log ✨

678 Funny activity quotes

More funny activity quotes 👇

All funny activity quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨