Commentary:
Love those winter time blackouts! Where else can you binge-watch guilt-free and feel like a time traveler? 🍿🕰️🌌
178 Funny actually quotes
Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.
Commentary:
Brains, beauty, and sweetness—I'm basically the human equivalent of the ultimate dessert! 🍒🧁🤓
In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.
Commentary:
Sounds like the world's sweatiest square dance! 🕺🔥👹
Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?
Commentary:
Mind-blowing concept, right? 🤯 Who knew that silence could be so… educated? 🤔🤐
“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.
Commentary:
Move over, Caramel Latte, Dairy Queen is serving looks and ice cream! 🍦👑
Ghosting is actually a sign of great respect in my culture.
Commentary:
Respecting people so much, I accidentally founded the Ghost Olympics 👻🏆 #CulturalTradition
Situationships are just you pretending you’re okay with getting used until they find someone they actually like.
Commentary:
Sounds like a professional hobby of auditioning for a role you're never gonna get! 😂🎭💔
Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?
Commentary:
I think the endorphins are just bribing us to forget the pain! 🏃♂️🤣
Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.
Commentary:
So true, job hunting really is just adult hide-and-seek where the jobs do all the hiding. 🔍🤷♂️😂
Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?
Commentary:
Running on stress and iced coffee is the new balanced diet! 🏃♀️☕️😅