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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

The best addition to any essay is, of course, a condescending tone.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I wanna be a villain so I can just saunter everywhere. The heroes are always sprinting, always running. You ever seen Darth Vader run? Hell no. And I ain’t about to either.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,379

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you aren’t the one paying for it. Stop!

Seen just now on Threads:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

Seen just now on WeChat:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Going viral on Slack:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Trending via Facebook:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Spreading quickly via X:

Y’all scared to be single, I’m scared to be in another pointless relationship.

Going viral on Instagram:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

216 Funny aging quotes

More funny aging quotes 👇

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

3 months ago

adulthood, aging, another, chin, humor, lonely, looks, self-deprecation, welcome
I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

3 months ago

aging, bring, children, embarrassing, embarrassment, family, happiness, humor, i, joy, little, little things, me, older, parenting, things
After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

3 months ago

aging, anti, anti aging, beauty, cream, humor, i, irony, say, self-care, weeks, well-maintained, wrinkles
One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

3 months ago

aging, birth, birth date, date, forms, getting, getting older, halfway, having, humor, i, nap, noticed, observation, older, online, online forms, scrolling, short, stop, technology, thing, year
I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

3 months ago

adulthood, aging, funny observation, getting, getting older, help, humor, i, me, move, nobody, observation, older, responsibility, super
You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

3 months ago

aging, body, fight, fighting, getting, humor, old, over, pain, parts, realize, start
Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

3 months ago

20s, 40s, age, aging, diagnosis, early, early 20’s, even, humor, i, late, late stage, self-deprecation, stage
One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

3 months ago

aging, carefree, change, feel, humor, knee, life, minute, next, rain, young, youth
Getting old is not fun. Sometimes I have to check my texts and photos when someone asks me what I did yesterday.

3 months ago

aging, check, daily, daily life, forgetfulness, fun, getting, getting old, i, life, me, memory, old, photos, someone, texts, yesterday
Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

3 months ago

40s, aging, another, chin, humor, oh, surprise, surprises, welcome

For even more funny aging quotes, hit next 👇

All funny aging quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

75 shares on Slack this month:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t tell me about Stockholm Syndrome, I woke up at 6 AM on my first day of vacation wondering how things were going at work.

21 shares on Threads this month:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Am I just getting old or are people getting more annoying?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

If a tree falls on your ex in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, you should probably still get rid of the chainsaw.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off, I will do the same thing to your head.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Trending via Twitch:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Shared recently on TikTok:

At least life has music.

Breaking via Discord:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

Spotted on Messenger:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Just landed via YouTube:

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Live now on Twitch:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Just shared via Reddit:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Activity Log ✨

216 Funny aging quotes

More funny aging quotes 👇

All funny aging quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨