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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

I don’t wanna start the year with any negativity so if you and I have had issues in the past, apologize to me immediately.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

The sweater is an item of clothing that a child has to wear when parents are cold.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Spotted on Twitch:

I need a massage for my brain.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The problem with rich people is that I am not one.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Just landed via Facebook:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Breaking via TikTok:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Reported on YouTube:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

Home » Funny Anticipation Quotes » Page 5

41 Funny anticipation quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

13 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I wish I had a friend like me.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

What pushes you to watch 19 seasons of people in a hospital?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Apparently the thirstiest creature in the whole world is always a kid who’s been told to go back to his bed like a hundred times.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Good morning to everyone — except me, because I clearly didn’t get enough sleep.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If at first you don’t succeed then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.

Trending via Threads:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Trending via Facebook:

They need to increase life expectancy so I can squeeze in another mid-life crisis.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Every time I stand up, my dog gets excited as hell. He understands that I’m a real man who can make shit happen at any given moment.

Breaking via YouTube:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Going viral on Slack:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Seen just now on Slack:

God saw you do that.

Just shared via Discord:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Going viral on WeChat:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Making waves on X:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

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