Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I was not made for a 9 to 5; I was made to eat pasta and lay in the sun like a lizard.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Be nice to me, I may be hot one day.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,697

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

Shared recently on Messenger:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Just landed via Instagram:

Lounging under the stars is top-tier therapy.

Trending via Pinterest:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

Just shared via X:

I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Just shared via Reddit:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Breaking via Telegram:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You know you don’t have to give your bathroom a beach theme, there’s no law.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

50 Funny anticipation quotes

More funny anticipation quotes 👇

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

3 weeks ago

anticipation, excited, going, humor, negativity, sucks, think, today
Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

3 weeks ago

anticipation, back, back to work, humor, i, last, sleep, work
I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

3 weeks ago

anticipation, away, before, before picture, fitness, humor, i, loss, months, perfect, picture, self-deprecation, six, six months, think, weight, weight loss
My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

3 weeks ago

anticipation, favorite, favorite part, going, home, house, humor, irony, leaving, looking
Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

3 weeks ago

anticipation, bite, fantasy, humor, line, real, soon, supernatural, vampire, vampires
That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

3 weeks ago

actually, anticipation, best, excitement, finding, got, job, job start, job transition, life, life moment, moment, new, new job, period, start, starting, times, transition
A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

3 weeks ago

adulting, always, anticipation, big, cheat, cheat code, code, forward, matter, motivation, outlook, positivity, small, something
Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

3 weeks ago

anticipation, faster, humor, lurking, Monday, nothing, procrastination, remembering, reminder, ruin, ruins, shadow, weekend, workweek
I really can’t wait until it all works out.

3 weeks ago

anticipation, humor, i, optimism, patience, wait, waiting, works
Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

3 weeks ago

anticipation, communication, couple, couples, humor, i, long distance, long-distance relationship, love, relationship, wait, waiting

For even more funny anticipation quotes, hit next 👇

All funny anticipation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Messenger this month:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

94 shares on Slack this month:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

62 shares on TikTok this month:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

30 shares on Discord this month:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

“You never text back.” No, I be reading texts from the notification bar, then forget to text back.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

Love crawling into bed like it’s a spa retreat, only to wake up like I survived a bar fight.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

One of the main reasons to drink tea is because you can say, ‘Let me put the kettle on,’ and stuff like that.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Going viral on Telegram:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Seen just now on Slack:

Of course I do cardio. It’s called running from my problems.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Live now on Threads:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Breaking via Reddit:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Just shared via Twitch:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Activity Log ✨

50 Funny anticipation quotes

More funny anticipation quotes 👇

All funny anticipation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨