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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’m sick of blessings in disguise. I am ready for a blessing with absolutely no disguise whatsoever.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Just overheard someone describe their hike as “it was like mountain climbing, but flat”.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Going viral on TikTok:

The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Going viral on Telegram:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Reported on Slack:

If at first you don’t succeed, the internet will let you know immediately.

Just shared via Twitch:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Just shared via X:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Going viral on Reddit:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I remember owning a mobile device as a kid, it was called my bike.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Trending via Twitch:

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Live now on Instagram:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

Going viral on TikTok:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

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