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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Y’all liking my posts feels like a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2322 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,484

Funny Quotes Topics

15,190

Funny Quotes Images

12,484

10 minutes ago

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

As president, I will allow people to use the same password as before when changing their password.

Making waves on YouTube:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Live now on Telegram:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Going viral on Instagram:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m disgusted by the amount of nudity on Netflix these days. There’s hardly any. What am I even paying for?

Spotted on TikTok:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Live now on YouTube:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

Shared recently on Slack:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Making waves on X:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Home » Funny Billion Quotes

Funny billion quotes

Funny billion quotes are the perfect blend of wit and wealth 💸😂, turning serious money talk into a laugh-out-loud moment! Whether you’re dreaming big or just love clever humor about riches 💰😎, these quotes will have you smiling all day. Ready to add a little sparkle and giggles to your feed? Let’s dive into the funniest takes on billion-dollar ideas and lifestyles! 🎉💡🤣

New funny billion quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'the more, the merrier' clearly didn't have to deal with annoying friends 🙄. With 8 billion options out there, may the friendship odds be ever in your favor! 🤣👯‍♂️ #QualityOverQuantity"
6 months ago
Share →: Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Commentary:
When your body is ready to doze off but your brain suddenly becomes a 24/7 idea factory 🤯💭 Good luck trying to count sheep with that much brainpower on overdrive! 😂🐑 #SleeplessInBrain-lanta
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Commentary:
"Finally, a revolutionary innovation that might just change the world: A printer that actually PRINTS when you need it to 🖨️💸 Who would've thought such a simple concept could be worth billions?!"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Commentary:
Body: Time to sleep. Brain: Hey, that's an interesting thought, here's six billion more. 🧠💭💤 When your brain hits you with a late-night brainstorming session just as you're drifting off to dreamland… Thanks, brain, but can we reschedule this meeting for, oh, never? 😂🌙 #OveractiveBrain #LateNightMusings
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: Happy Earth Day. You don’t look a day over 4 billion years and get hotter every year.

Commentary:
"Happy Earth Day! 🌍🎉 Who knew getting older could make you so hot? 🔥😉 Here's to Earth staying forever young in our hearts (even if it keeps heating up!) 😄 #AgelessBeauty #PlanetGoals"

For even more funny billion quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny billion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2322 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,484

Funny Quotes Topics

15,190

Funny Quotes Images

12,484

10 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

No, I’m not “dating anyone.” I’m really busy playing outside.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive, you should try swimming with sharks. It cost me an arm and a leg!

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Going viral on Discord:

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

Just landed via Slack:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Just landed via Pinterest:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Trending via Facebook:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Trending via TikTok:

Yes, I was behind the DJ booth, but only as a cultural anthropologist.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Shared recently on Slack:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Broadcasted on X:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

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