Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I woke up alive again.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Running from your problems is cardio.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,653

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Making waves on YouTube:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Trending via Instagram:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

Just shared via YouTube:

God: “Free will was a bad idea. I should have charged for it.”

Going viral on Discord:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Breaking via Facebook:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Going bananas on YouTube:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

97 Funny casual quotes

More funny casual quotes 👇

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

0

2 months ago

activity, back, came, casual, casual activity, confidence, everything, humor, i, just, right, self-assurance, walk
Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

0

2 months ago

casual, communication, email, follow, follow up, humor, ignored, procrastination, reminder
Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

0

2 months ago

around, bum, casual, comfort, home, humor, relaxation, walk, where
Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

0

2 months ago

called, called off, care, casual, casual wear, day, day off, fat, feeling, feeling fat, jeans, self, self-care, wear, work
One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won’t judge you.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, being, casual, comfort, friend, friendship, fun, house, i, judge, judgment-free, make-up, makeup, no make-up, pajamas
Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

0

2 months ago

activity, binge-watching, casual, casual date, chicken, chicken nugget, comfort, comfort food, date, food, fun, fun activity, humor, Netflix, nugget, snack
I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

0

2 months ago

appearance, casual, confidence, day, humor, impressed, just, public, self-image, ugly
Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

0

3 months ago

bro, casual, casual conversation, confess, confession, conversation, humor, love, love confession, me, playful, relationship, romance
Living solo: where pants are optional, and snacks are unlimited.

0

3 months ago

casual, humor, independence, lifestyle, living, living solo, optional, pants, snack, snacks, solo, where
My favorite part of my workday is when I grab my shit and leave.

0

3 months ago

casual, casual language, favorite, favorite part, grab, humor, i, language, leave, leaving, life, office, office humor, quitting, quitting time, shit, time, work, work life, workday

For even more funny casual quotes, hit next 👇

All funny casual quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on WeChat this month:

Tired of my landlord depending on my rent. Bro, get a job.

39 shares on X this month:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

39 shares on X this month:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

96 shares on Pinterest this month:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry, I can’t come over tonight. I’ve become too invested in these fictional characters and whether or not they will kiss.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Fries, not lies.

14 shares on X this month:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

To save money in this economy, I’ve tried eating out and I’ve tried cooking at home. The answer is starvation.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Netflix subtitles be like “speaking foreign language”. Bro, translate it!

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

Live now on WeChat:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Spotted on Instagram:

As a woman, you need to forgive yourself for men you entertained when you had low self-esteem.

Spotted on Slack:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Seen just now on WeChat:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Spotted on Telegram:

When I am calculating any risk, I think to myself: is this first cat life behavior? Or ninth cat life behavior?

Making waves on Twitch:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Freshly posted on Discord:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

Activity Log ✨

97 Funny casual quotes

More funny casual quotes 👇

All funny casual quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨