Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Commentary:
"Her: how are you still single? Me: it's easier than you think. 🤷‍♂️ Maybe I'm just too good at dodging Cupid's arrows! 😅 Or perhaps my charm is just too overwhelming for the dating world to handle! 😏 Who needs a relationship when you've got such a fabulous self, right? 💁‍♂️"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Commentary:
"Oh, the classic selective hearing move, a true masterpiece of skill and finesse! 🤭👂 Nothing like nodding along to 'awesome' without a clue what was even said! Just hope it wasn't a question… 🤷‍♂️😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Commentary:
"Attention all public speakerphone users: You have officially been dubbed the designated annoyance in public spaces. 🙄🔊 Remember, a little volume control goes a long way in not becoming a public enemy. 😂 #SpeakerphoneEtiquetteFail"
6 months ago
Share →: I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Commentary:
When it comes to flirting, I make awkward look like an art form. 🤷‍♂️ "Is that so?" – me, the smooth operator. Just call me the master of subtle romance! 😉
6 months ago
Share →: I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

Commentary:
"Mastering the art of nodding and smiling like a pro! 💁‍♂️😂 Who knew that the secret to peace and quiet was simply nodding along? 🤐🤣 #AgreeToDisagree"
6 months ago
Share →: Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Commentary:
"Looking to have the quickest Thanksgiving cleanup ever? Just casually mention politics and watch your guests bolt out the door faster than you can say 'pumpkin pie'! 🏃‍♂️🥧🦃 #ExitStrategy"
6 months ago
Share →: Yes, I do talk to myself, everyone else just wants to argue with me.

Commentary:
"Talking to myself is like having a meeting with the smartest person I know 🧠💬…even if they do tend to disagree with me a lot! 🤣 #BrainstormingSolo"
6 months ago
Share →: Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of selective hearing – more like selective talking! 🙉💬 Just remember, conversations are a two-way street, not a monologue marathon! 😄🚦"
6 months ago
Share →: Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Commentary:
"Who knew your arm art could be a louder introvert than you? 🤭 Maybe next time opt for a temporary tattoo to keep the chats at a whisper level. 😜💬 #QuietTattooRegrets"
6 months ago
Share →: Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Commentary:
Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God 🙏! I've been looking for an excuse to finally use my "alien invasion survival kit" 👽. Time to put those binge-watched sci-fi skills to good use! ✨🚀👾 #ReadyForTheExtraterrestrialLife.