41 Funny dad quotes

• Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

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  2 months ago

  dad, excitement, exciting, golf, humor, irony, Masters, napping, sports

• Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

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  2 months ago

  dad, energy, environmentalist, humor, i, lights, me, parenting, people, responsibility, turn, waste, yell

• As a dad, you’re required to ask your neighbor “You gonna do mine next?” when you see them raking leaves.

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  2 months ago

  activity, ask, chores, dad, fun, fun activity, humor, leaf, mine, neighbor, next, parenting, raking, required

• As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

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  2 months ago

  always, dad, family, family fun, fun, humor, kids, lessons, life, life lessons, parenting, preparation, prepared, real, real life, trolling, want

• Sometimes I sneeze so loud and hard I think I’m a dad.

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  2 months ago

  dad, exaggeration, hard, humor, i, loud, parenting, sneeze, think

• If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

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  2 months ago

  cheat, dad, date, dump, humor, irony, man, relationship, son, step, step son

• I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

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  2 months ago

  am, children, content, content provider, dad, dad jokes, family, father, humor, i, jokes, mean, parent, parenting, proud, proud parent, provider

• Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

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  2 months ago

  dad, decision, electricity, family, history, humor, i, living, living will, plug, want, waste, wasting

• Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

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  2 months ago

  cream, dad, family, guilt, honesty, humor, i, ice, ice cream, kids, me, parenting, rest, snack

• I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

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  2 months ago

  call, dad, data, forget, funny memory, guy, i, me, memory, middle, middle school, need, never, Obama, phone, school, stop, tell, using, Verizon

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