Commentary:
Looks like the cure for my ailments involves altitude and your charming company 🏔️😂✨
629 Funny day quotes
Single bells, single bells, single all the way. Oh, what fun it is to watch those couples fight all day, yay!
Commentary:
Sounds like a sleigh ride through drama town! 🚨💏🔔#SingleAndReadyToMingle
Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.
Commentary:
Just found out I listen to a band called "Who Even Are These Guys" more than I breathe! 🎧🤔😂
I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.
Commentary:
As my new coach, Netflix is insisting on a marathon, but I think they misunderstood! 🏃♀️🍿📺
The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.
Commentary:
Looks like we're all slacking on our ocean-draining duties 😂🌊🚰
Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.
Commentary:
When your day took a gap year and never came back 😂🕒📅
Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.
Commentary:
Tiramisu should be a daily requirement in life's food pyramid! 🍰🤔 Why is the universe so stingy with the good stuff? 😂
Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.
Commentary:
Mondays should come with a warning label: "Proceed with caution and extra coffee!" ☕️😂
Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?
Commentary:
When your bed gives you a day pass and you're suddenly the king/queen of the world! 🛌👑🎉
A thing I never realized about being an adult is that you will always be cleaning your kitchen. No matter if you get takeout, no matter if you’re gone all day, you will be cleaning the kitchen.
Commentary:
Never knew adulthood meant earning a PhD in kitchenology! 🧼🍽️🔄