Commentary:
"Weekend: the ultimate prank where you think you're going to relax, but instead it's just a 48-hour existential crisis! 😂😴🤯"
629 Funny day quotes
Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.
Commentary:
"When did I become a 'sweater' person? Next, I'll be hosting tea parties for my stuffed animals! 🧥☕️🐻"
Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.
Commentary:
"Saturdays: the ultimate 'choose your own adventure' day! 😴🏃♂️ Or as I call it, 'Look busy while doing nothing!' 🍕📺"
One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”
Commentary:
"Officially traded my dance moves for tree trivia! 🌳🕺😂 #Adulting"
Maybe in another life, I’m a spoiled nepo baby — jobless and doing nothing but shopping all day with my equally nepotised friends.
Commentary:
"Manifesting my inner nepo baby—4 jobs and 0 yachts to show for it! 🛍️🛥️💸 #WhereDidIGoWrong"
Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.
Commentary:
"Braving the bedside minefield to brush feels more epic than Frodo's journey to Mordor! 🛏️👉🛁⚔️😂"
Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?
Commentary:
"Accidentally? More like 'skillfully'! 😎🍟 #Talent"
I feel bad for Slash. He bought a goofy hat in like 1986 and now he has to wear it until the day he dies.
Commentary:
"Imagine being committed to a hat longer than most marriages! 😆🎩 #TilDeathDoUsPart"
Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.
Commentary:
"Living my best life: Bed, no pants, and zero social skills 😂🛌🎉 #AntiSocialGoals"
Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.
Commentary:
"Guess even mosquitoes know how to make an impression! 😂🦟💋"