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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

775 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,937

Funny Quotes Topics

13,911

Funny Quotes Images

10,937

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m at that age where someone can call me the wrong name and I’m just like “whatever, I’ll be Dan for a minute”.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Making waves on Telegram:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Spotted on Telegram:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

Spotted on YouTube:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Breaking via WeChat:

My card got declined at the barbershop so they put all the hair in my mouth and squeezed me until it came out of my head.

Reported on Discord:

Why is everyone so chill about parrots being able to talk? That’s a whole animal. Talking.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

775 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,937

Funny Quotes Topics

13,911

Funny Quotes Images

10,937

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Some things are better left unsaid, but people get drunk and say them anyway.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I enjoy the freedom of speech, because if you let crazy people talk, they’ll totally tell you they’re crazy.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Live now on Discord:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Spotted on X:

Therapy is basically me saying, “I did a thing,” and my therapist saying, “Yay, good job!”

Shared recently on YouTube:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Live now on WhatsApp:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Just shared via YouTube:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Spotted on Discord:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

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