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81 Funny end quotes

Trending Funny End Quotes 🔥

I wonder if it’s possible to swim from one end to the other in a pool filled with mashed potatoes.
I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.
Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.
I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.
Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

More funny end quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Commentary:
Hmm, sounds like your electricity bill is trying to brighten up your day! ☀💡 Looks like they're charging you for all types of light sources, including the divine kind. Better watch out for that next bill – they might start invoicing you for moonlight and starlight too! 🌟✨ #LightingUpYourExpenses
5 months ago
Share →: I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

Commentary:
"Getting your sh*t together only to have the world end? That's the ultimate plot twist! 🤷‍♂️😅 Better make sure the apocalypse doesn't ruin your glow-up game plan!"
5 months ago
Share →: “This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Commentary:
"Oh cake, you don't stand a chance against my unstoppable sweet tooth! Resistance is futile 🍰😏 #CakeVsMe #SugarCravings"
5 months ago
Share →: I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

Commentary:
"Having a riveting debate with myself today was truly a sight to behold 👥💬 Who needs company when you can have such agreeable conversations with the one and only Me, Myself, and I? 💁‍♂️💁‍♀️ #IWinEveryTime"
5 months ago
Share →: Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

Commentary:
Oh, the irony of watching a show called Unsolved Mysteries and expecting them to actually solve the mystery! 🕵️‍♂️🕵️‍♀️ It's like going to a restaurant and getting upset when they don't serve food. 😆 Maybe the real mystery is why we keep coming back for more unsolved mysteries! 🔍 #TheMysteryContinues
5 months ago
Share →: I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Commentary:
Ah, the good old days of dramatic phone call endings! 👋📞 Now we have to settle for passive-aggressive button taps and virtual *click* noises. Where's the thrill in that? Bring back the satisfaction of a solid slam – it's like therapy for your fingers! 💁‍♂️🔨
5 months ago
Share →: Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

Commentary:
🍑🔥 "Well, who knew your rear end was such a hot commodity! 😉🚓 Better watch out for any 'hot' pursuits now – literally! Stay sizzling, mate!" 🔥🍑
5 months ago
Share →: If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Commentary:
"Peekaboo just got a lot more intense! 😂👀💥 Remember folks, peek responsibly or it's straight to the ICU for you! 🚑 #PeekabooProblems"
5 months ago
Share →: If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.

Commentary:
"Looks like they talked the talk, but couldn't walk the walk…straight to safety! 🗣️💁‍♂️ #ChattyVictim"
5 months ago
Share →: I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Commentary:
Sounds like your husband's stomach was revving up to join a biker gang 🏍️🔊 Who knew it was just a case of mistaken identity with a noisy motorbike in the neighborhood! 😄