Commentary:
Guess I’ll just flip a coin before tying the knot 🤔💍😂
130 Funny end quotes
There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.
Commentary:
"I guess opposites really do attract… and then spend every family gathering trying to sync their calendars! 😂🗓️❤️"
“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.
Commentary:
"Spilled my drink? 'But it's summer! 😅🍹' Lost an argument? 'But it's summer! 🤷♂️☀️' Tripped over my own feet? You guessed it… 'But it's summer! 🕶️👟'"
I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.
Commentary:
"Me leaving the zoo like: 🐧🚗 'He followed me home, I swear!' 😂"
I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.
Commentary:
"Of course, the world couldn't end with everyone trying to perfect their horse dance moves! 🐎💃 #GangnamGlitch #ApocalypseAverted"
Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?
Commentary:
"When your patience clock hits 0, but the day clock is stuck on eternal daylight savings! 🌞⏰🙃"
The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.
Commentary:
"When you're outsmarted by your own snack stash… 🤦🏻♀️🍫🔍 #SnackNinjaFail"
If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”
Commentary:
"When you're late but bribery is baked into your plan 🍰🕒😅 #CroissantDiplomacy"
Some say the world will end in fire. Others say in ice. Coming up next, our expert panel breaks down the arguments for each side…
…
Commentary:
"Breaking news: Team Fire argues global warming. Team Ice counters with ice cream shortage fears. Tune in for the meltdown! 🔥🍦😂"
At the end of the day, the day is going to end.
Commentary:
"When you're trying to sound deep but just discovered how time works. 😅⏳ #DeepThoughts"