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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Cake hits so much harder off a plastic fork.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Spreading quickly via X:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Spotted on Twitch:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Shared recently on Discord:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Trending via Twitch:

When life gives you lemons maybe think to yourself, “that’s really quite remarkable given how far I live from a climate capable of growing citrus.”

Just shared via Reddit:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Just shared via Messenger:

Me attempting to flirt: So do you like doing things?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Live now on Discord:

My brain has too many tabs open.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

If my memory gets any worse, I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

“There’s a reason religion tells you your reward is after death; it keeps you quiet while you’re being exploited alive.”

38 shares on Reddit this month:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

58 shares on Discord this month:

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever spend the day with a skinny person and are like “ohhhh, that’s why you’re skinny”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Hold on, let me overthink this.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,456

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

My problem is, I wanna be the only one at the gym when I go.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I end all my sentences with “Just saying..” because ending them with “You bonehead..” would probably be considered offensive.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

The feminine urge to turn you on and not do anything about it.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

Yesterday, I went to the grocery store, and I managed to come home without any junk food. Now, I’m mad that we don’t have any junk food.

Breaking via Discord:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Freshly posted on Discord:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Going viral on X:

Everyone’s an expert after the fact.

Trending via YouTube:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

Breaking via Snapchat:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

Trending via Pinterest:

Does your blood pump that way just for me?

Just landed via Discord:

Yes, I make bad decisions when I’m drunk. But I wouldn’t say that the decisions I make when I’m sober are any better.

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