Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

The “Wooooooooo” track from sitcoms should play whenever you kiss someone in real life.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Using a remote to type on a keyboard on the TV is truly one of the worst human experiences that we endure.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

You want me to pay attention to the details? The thing the devil is in?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Going viral on Snapchat:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Spotted on Reddit:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Just shared via X:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Making waves on Telegram:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

15 Funny festive quotes

Funny festive quotes bring a sprinkle of humor 🎉 and a dash of cheer 🎄 to holiday celebrations! Whether you’re decking the halls or wrapping gifts 🎁, a clever chuckle can make the season even brighter ✨. Get ready to laugh out loud 😂 and share the joy with friends and family as you dive into the funniest, quirkiest, and most relatable festive sayings around!

New funny festive quotes 👇

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

4 weeks ago

Christmas, festive, festive season, holiday, humor, phrase, season, Spanish, Spanish phrase, wordplay, year
December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

4 weeks ago

calorie, count, December, diet, eating, festive, food, holiday, humor, indulgence, law
This entire year has been the Nightmare Before Christmas.

1 month ago

before, Christmas, festive, holiday, humor, nightmare, spooky, year
“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

2 months ago

1st, 24th, before, calendar, Christmas, date, December, December 24th, festive, festive season, holiday, humor, January, January 1st, just, means, new, new year, nightmare, season, The Nightmare Before Christmas, year
Using my one phone call to call Santa.

2 months ago

call, Christmas, festive, holiday, humor, joke, phone, phone call, prank, Santa, using
Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

2 months ago

celebration, Christmas, congratulation, decoration, festive, holiday, humor, people, procrastination
An Advent Calendar for adults but behind every door is a different kind of anxiety medication.

2 months ago

adult, adult humor, adults, advent, advent calendar, anxiety, anxiety relief, calendar, countdown, different, door, every, festive, festive fun, fun, funny gift, gift, health, holiday, holiday stress, humor, kind, medication, mental, mental health, relief, stress
I can’t work under these festive conditions.

2 months ago

conditions, distractions, festive, humor, i, productivity, under, work
Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

2 months ago

children, Christmas, family, fat, festive, festive fun, food, fun, getting, getting fat, gift, gift giving, giving, holiday, holiday humor, humor, i, love, lying, things, traditions
Polar bears drinking Coca Cola is my favorite holiday vibe.

2 months ago

bear, coca, Coca Cola, cola, drink, drinking, favorite, festive, holiday, polar, polar bear, vibe, winter

For even more funny festive quotes, hit next 👇

All funny festive quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on YouTube this month:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

They expect me to work at work.

13 shares on Slack this month:

Every time I turn around, it’s Monday.

25 shares on Threads this month:

It’s important to post stupid stuff so you can learn who likes you.

90 shares on X this month:

I’m only staying up until midnight on New Year’s to watch that bloody year die.

29 shares on X this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

10 shares on Instagram this month:

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Men don’t chew on toothpicks all day anymore.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Unpopular opinion: a honeymoon is more needed 5 to 10 years down the road, versus right after getting married.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when my grandma texts me — because I know it took her an hour.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,278

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

People who don’t like pickles are so important because they give me their pickles.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

The inner child in me is open-mouth coughing on the inner child in you.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Instagram:

And then one day, life was like… hold my beer.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

Seen just now on Slack:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Making waves on Instagram:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Spotted on Discord:

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Marriage is where you gasp while your husband is driving, and he gets super annoyed over and over.

Trending via Pinterest:

Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Just landed via Reddit:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

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