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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

It’s not sleeping alone if there are crumbs in your bed.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

If you love me, please don’t ask me to go camping with you.

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Updated

Jan 20, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

109 Funny gift quotes

More funny gift quotes 👇

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

3 months ago

advent, advent calendar, calendar, cheer, different, gift, gift idea, holiday, holiday cheer, humor, ID, idea, list, relaxation, relief, stress, stress relief, tranquilizer, wish, wish list, year
Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

3 months ago

celebration, Christmas, family, gift, holiday, humor, shit, stress, tradition
I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

3 months ago

carefully, communication, gift, going, humor, i, irony, manage, say, still, thing, think, think carefully, truly, wrong, wrong thing
Me and the fellas making welcome gift baskets for the aliens.

3 months ago

activity, aliens, basket, creativity, fellas, friendship, fun, fun activity, gift, gift basket, humor, making, me, welcome, welcome gift
That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

3 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, disappointment, gift, humor, moment, pretend, reaction, situation, social, social situation
Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

3 months ago

battery, Christmas, gift, holiday, humor, reason, remember, Santa, unknown, unknown reason
That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

3 months ago

Amazon, awkward, awkward moment, birthday, friend, friends, gift, hour, humor, item, moment, online, online shopping, procrastination, shopping, spend, time, year
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

3 months ago

age, bonk, Christmas, empty, fun, gift, head, holiday, humor, old, over, playful, someone, still, thing, tradition, tube, wrapping, wrapping tube
I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

3 months ago

delivery, gift, gift to self, humor, i, joy, love, me, online, online shopping, present, self, self-gift, shopping, shopping joy, surprises, things

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All funny gift quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

87 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite color is sunshine.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

45 shares on Reddit this month:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Your woman will take 2 hours to get ready, but if you don’t have your shoes on when she is ready, you’re the problem.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

Trending via YouTube:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Naps are like gambling for the tired. You either wake up refreshed or too late to lots of angry texts.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’ve been blocked by better.

Trending via Telegram:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Spotted on Telegram:

“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.

Shared recently on Telegram:

The gothic urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a terrifying backstory.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Looking over both shoulders before googling “Chinese burger.”

Activity Log ✨

109 Funny gift quotes

More funny gift quotes 👇

All funny gift quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨