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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

With no training whatsoever, I took out myself and the other two people exiting the ski lift in one fell swoop.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,370

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

It’s scary when the washing machine spins really fast.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I met the real Santa tonight, and he said you’re all in trouble.

Just shared via YouTube:

A clever man fills his wife’s closet with so many clothes that no other man can fit in.

Seen just now on Twitch:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Trending via Telegram:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Live now on LinkedIn:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

59 Funny girls quotes

More funny girls quotes 👇

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

3 weeks ago

am, bath, bubble, bubble bath, girls, guess, humor, i, irony, legs, library, media, picture, say, social, social media, take, where
Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

3 weeks ago

big, boy, boys, buy, girl, girls, humor, i, iPhone, max, never, only, phone, phones, pro, Pro Max, size, stereotype, swear, technology, why
I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

3 weeks ago

city, email, finds, girl, girls, grass, green, hope, humor, i, joke, paradise, pretty, where, wish
Girls Just Want To Have Naan

3 weeks ago

cravings, food, fun, girls, humor, just, naan, play, play on words, pun, want, words
WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

3 weeks ago

communication, display, girls, humor, just, ly, relationships, seen, WhatsApp, writing
“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

3 weeks ago

cash, desire, dollars, fun, girls, humor, i, just, million, money, want
Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

3 weeks ago

box, chocolate, comparison, dating, days, girl, girls, humor, nut, nuts, relationship
Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

3 weeks ago

binge-watching, distraction, docusery, girl, girls, humor, i, killer, much, procrastination, serial, serial killer, snacks, start, watching
Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

3 weeks ago

bloodline, curse, drama, emotions, fine, girls, humor, relationships, sarcasm, whole
Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

3 weeks ago

blood, drama, drawing, exaggeration, fine, floorboard, girls, humor, pentagram, relationship, start

For even more funny girls quotes, hit next 👇

All funny girls quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Being strange is exhausting.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Taking the day off to brush up on conspiracy theories and really get this family party started.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

45 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

85 shares on Instagram this month:

Hike in groups. Bears like to have options.

92 shares on Reddit this month:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You don’t have to check your Spotify Wrapped, you are the most played this year.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

33 shares on Slack this month:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I can’t wait for the “international law” crowd to discover that “human rights” aren’t real, either.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Just landed via Reddit:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

Trending via Pinterest:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Trending via WeChat:

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I’m like Pooh Bear. I just want to eat, hang with my homies, and go around pantsless.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Activity Log ✨

59 Funny girls quotes

More funny girls quotes 👇

All funny girls quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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