Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,980

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

Going viral on Twitch:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Just shared via Discord:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Trending via Discord:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Going viral on Instagram:

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

Spotted on Messenger:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

143 Funny give quotes

More funny give quotes 👇

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

0

2 months ago

butterfly, feelings, give, health, humor, love, mental, mental health, problems, relationship
Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

0

2 months ago

advice, disappointment, encouragement, give, going, humor, irony, keep, life, life advice, motivation, persistence, still, waiting
God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

0

2 months ago

animals, chicken, creation, duck, give, God, humor, kazoo, waterproof
I don’t know why doctors only give stickers to kids? Like, hello, I was also brave today.

0

2 months ago

adult, brave, doctor, doctors, give, hello, humor, i, kid, kids, know, only, recognition, reward, sticker, today
If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

0

2 months ago

ankle, enough, FitBit, fitness, give, humor, irony, joke, just, steal, tech
I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

0

2 months ago

advice, best, buy, ever, give, harmonica, humor, i, learning, lot, music, never, over, someone, used
I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

0

2 months ago

act, another, bee, date, give, heart, humor, i, never, relationship, trust, woman
If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

0

2 months ago

advice, family, follow, give, hack, humor, just, kid, me, parenting, play, sibling, toy, want
I refuse to listen to anyone give commentary on the state of society unless it’s in a TikTok video filmed inside their car.

0

2 months ago

car, commentary, culture, give, humor, i, inside, listen, media, modern, modern culture, refuse, satire, social, social media, society, state, TikTok, trends, video
Give us this day our daily internet validation.

0

2 months ago

daily, day, give, humor, internet, life, media, modern, modern life, prayer, social, social media, us, validation

For even more funny give quotes, hit next 👇

All funny give quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m a yapper. I’m a napper. I’m a midnight snacker.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

60 shares on Snapchat this month:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

81 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but throw away your disgusting dish sponge.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

37 shares on Discord this month:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I hate having a messy house. Not enough to actually clean it, but enough to give it a disgusted stare while I peacefully relax on the couch.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

If men didn’t exist, I would simply go for a 2 a.m. walk every night and listen to music in my AirPods.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Shared recently on X:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

Breaking via Threads:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Just landed via WeChat:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Just landed via TikTok:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.

Just shared via Telegram:

Horrifying if literal: my girlfriend is a gym rat.

Spotted on Instagram:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

Activity Log ✨

143 Funny give quotes

More funny give quotes 👇

All funny give quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨