Commentary:
Ah, the paradox of life—turns out my favorite spa session is also a sabotage mission for my hair! 🚿😱💁♀️
117 Funny hot quotes
Just got diagnosed with needing a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.
Commentary:
Looks like we've got a marshmallow emergency on our hands! 🍫🧑⚕️🔥
The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.
Commentary:
Sounds like living in a beauty pageant with constant plot twists! 👀👗🏙️
I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.
Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate cleaning hack! 😂🧹 Just make sure he doesn't swipe you out for a real date! 🍽️🎭
When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.
Commentary:
Oh, so that's why I always thought the sun was trying to start a rock band ☀️🎸🦗
Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?
Commentary:
Yippee! What can I say, I'm easily influenced by gravity! 😂👖🔥
A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.
Commentary:
Just remember to add salt and a few noodles for flavor! 🍲😅🛁
I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.
Commentary:
Who knew hot dogs had a secret rap name? 🌭🎤 Please, let's not turn them into urban legends. 😂
Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.
Commentary:
Who needs a fireplace when you have spicy punctuation keeping things toasty; 🔥📚😏
I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.
Commentary:
Brace yourselves, I'm entering my "spicy enigma" phase! 🔥🤪