49 Funny human quotes

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I talk to my dog like she’s human and, like most humans, she looks at me like I’m an idiot.

  Commentary:
  "When you have conversations with your dog and she gives you that 'are you for real?' look, you know who the real genius is in the room. 🐶🤪 #DogHumor"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

  Commentary:
  "Alright, human, the robot 🤖 has shown its credentials, now it's your turn to reveal your non-human quirks! Let's see if you can match the efficiency of my circuits and the charm of my algorithms 😉🤖 #GameOn"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

  Commentary:
  🧅💧🔪 "In a parallel universe, onions shed tears as they slice through humans… Now that's a tear-jerking twist! Who knew veggies could have such strong feelings? 🤯😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

  Commentary:
  Well, imagine if mosquitos had a refined taste for human fat! 🍔🦟 They could single-handedly revolutionize the weight loss industry, one bite at a time! 💪😆

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, the colorful language laboratory of our subconscious mind never fails to surprise us during human interactions! 🧠🤬 Better watch out for those unintentional "science experiments" of expletives! 🔬😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: The human body is amazing. One half-open eye and the brain under emergency power are enough to make coffee.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a fancy coffee machine when you have the power of a half-open eye and emergency brain mode? ☕️😄 Don't underestimate the incredible capabilities of the human body – it's the ultimate coffee-making machine!"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs brain health when you have memes and snacks, am I right? 🤷‍♂️🍿 #SociallyDistantButWellFed"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I am the human version of tangled headphones.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the tangled web we weave… 🎧 Getting as twisted as a pair of headphones – always in a knot but still trying to stay connected! 😂 Untangle your life, one earbud at a time! 🔄🤪"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

  Commentary:
  "According to scientific research, the human body is 60% water… 🌊💧 Or at least it was until my husband and son came into the picture! After careful monitoring, I propose a new finding: they are at least 50% hot air and wind! 💨🤣 #FamilyScience #Windbags"

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