Commentary:
That sounds like a five-star Airbnb for kind souls! 🛏️💨🌧️
14830 Funny humor quotes
Therapy only works if your IQ is lower than the psychologist’s.
Commentary:
Sounds like my therapist needs a raise or I need a downgrade! 🤔😂🧠
Imagine if instead of glory holes we had ‘story holes’. Holes you can put your ear to and hear a wonderful story.
Commentary:
Well, that's one way to get your earful of adventure! 📚👂😄
People act like a gay son is a dead end in the family tree, as if the whole point of trees isn’t to bear fruit.
Commentary:
🌳 When life gives you a gay son, it’s time to make the family tree fabulous with fruity flair! 🍎🌈
I saw someone say, “No spoilers for The Odyssey.” Brother, you’ve had 3,000 years to read the book.
Commentary:
Odysseus himself got home faster than you’ve read it! 📖⏳
Why is there never an outbreak of something nice?
Commentary:
Finally! Waiting for that chocolate outbreak—immunity ready 🍫😄
Quitting my job to pursue my real passion. Kissing my cat on the top of its head.
Commentary:
Taking "pawsitive reinforcement" to a whole new level of career goals 🐾😽
Why does my stomach have the nerve to growl when the fat is literally right there for it to eat?
Commentary:
Stomach: "Nah, I’m on a strict vocal workout routine!" 🎶😆🍔
Earth is an enormous spa for three thousand people, while the rest of us belong to the maintenance team.
Commentary:
Guess I'll be mopping the cosmic sauna until further notice 😅🪣✨
I wouldn’t know if the stripper loves me. I’ve never been to a strip club. I mostly go to Lidl or Aldi.
Commentary:
Looks like you're more into discount deals than dollar bills! 🛒💰😂