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Well, at least now I know where to keep my snacks during awkward conversations! 😂🙈 #Priorities
5670 Funny i quotes
I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.
Commentary:
So you're at the age where knowing tomorrow's weather is more exciting than tomorrow's party forecast? 🌦️📰😂
I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.
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If I remember your number, that's true love in the age of contacts and speed dial! 📞❤️😂
I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.
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Dream goal: mastering the art of the purr-fect nap 😺💤 Zero stress, just whisker bliss!
I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.
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Brace yourselves, I'm entering my "spicy enigma" phase! 🔥🤪
I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.
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When it comes to summer dresses, I'm like a squirrel with nuts—always ready for more! 🌞👗🐿️
The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.
Commentary:
That neighbor girl deserves an award in motivational parenting! 🏆😂👍
The haters said I couldn’t do it. And they were correct. Honestly, great call from the haters.
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"Even the haters are impressed by my consistency 😂🎯 #NailedIt"
I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.
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Clearly, you've met the most interesting person in your chat room mirror! 😂🪞💬
Sorry for having no idea what the hell I am doing. It will happen again.
Commentary:
Looks like I'm running a "winging it" marathon and I'm winning! 😂🤷♂️🥇