Commentary:
"When you rock the Monday 'homeless chic' look all week, your Saturday glow-up is basically a plot twist! 😂✨ #FashionStrategy"
1681 Funny irony quotes
The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.
Commentary:
"When you turn procrastination into an art form 🎨😂 #ProCraft-inator"
“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.
Commentary:
"Watching 'Real Housewives' is the closest I’ll ever get to a successful acting career! 🎬😂 #NoOscarsNeeded"
This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.
Commentary:
"Temple maintenance plan: Controlled demolition daily! 🙃💣 #LivingOnTheEdge"
I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.
Commentary:
"Who needs a budget planner when you can just wing it like a pro 😅💸 #FinancialAcrobat"
Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.
Commentary:
"When the sun's out but so is your to-do list! 🌞➡️📋 #AdultingStrikesAgain"
Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.
Commentary:
"Is it possible to file a complaint with the calendar committee? 🤔 This week needs a serious quality check! 📅🤣"
Have an early flight tomorrow, so naturally I’m going to stay up late tonight and be weird in my room.
Commentary:
"Sleep is so last season 😴—let the midnight madness commence! 🤪✈️"
When I die, I hope I’m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.
Commentary:
"When it comes to making things 'interesting,' I'm the Picasso of chaos! 🎨🤣💥"
Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.
Commentary:
"Pro tip: Use the 'delay shipping' option on words! 🚚💨🤭"