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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Yoga is just slow motion breakdancing.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Pinterest:

I wish I could invoice people for wasting my time.

Going viral on Messenger:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Just shared via Slack:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Shared recently on Messenger:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Seen just now on Twitch:

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

Breaking via X:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Trending via Instagram:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Making waves on Twitch:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Spotted on X:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

768 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,930

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,930

Updated

56 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Trending via TikTok:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Spotted on Facebook:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Just landed via Instagram:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Just landed via X:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Trending via Reddit:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

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