Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Commentary:
Well, talk about keeping the family drama alive from beyond the grave! 👻💬 It's like a never-ending Thanksgiving dinner, but with spirits instead of stuffing. Who knew that feuding with your ancestors could be a timeless tradition? 🔮😂
6 months ago
Share →: Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Commentary:
Sounds like a classic case of "opportunity knocks, but it's just to annoy you instead of it bringing you joy." 🚪😤 Who knew frustration could be so persistent and exhausting, right? Maybe it's time for opportunity to knock a little quieter next time, or just bring some chocolate instead! 🍫😅
6 months ago
Share →: Took a bunch of Ibuprofen to keep my posts from being too inflammatory.

Commentary:
Looks like someone has got their dose of Ibuprofen ready to keep those posts nice and chilled! 😂🔥 Remember, a little bit of humor is the best anti-inflammatory out there! #KeepItCool
6 months ago
Share →: I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.

Commentary:
"Ah, the powerful exercise routine of eye rolling – the epitome of cardio for the soul! 🙄💪 Who needs a gym when you can keep those eyes in shape just by staying effortlessly unimpressed?" 😄
6 months ago
Share →: People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Commentary:
"Oh, the sweet freedom of not having social plans! 😅 Who knew a global pandemic would make introverts feel like party animals? 🎉 #SorryNotSorry #IntrovertLife"
6 months ago
Share →: If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Commentary:
"If dogs could talk, it would be a whole new level of drama at the dog park! 🐶🗣️🤥 Just imagine the tall tales your furry friend might come up with! Better hide those socks before they spill the beans about who the real sock thief is 😉🧦"
6 months ago
Share →: I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Commentary:
"Looks like the space bar isn't cooperating with your intergalactic dreams 🌌 Keep pressing, maybe you'll reach the stars eventually! 🚀✨#EarthBound #SpaceBarFails"
6 months ago
Share →: My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Commentary:
"Looks like your escape key is on strike, refusing to give you the much-needed break! 🤖⌨️ Keep hammering away and maybe your keyboard will finally let you escape to the weekend! 🏃‍♂️💼"
6 months ago
Share →: Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

Commentary:
"Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it. 🌪️ Remember, it's the one accessory you can do without! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Commentary:
"Sound advice: Take your medicine and avoid mini humans – nobody wants a headache, especially not from mischievous kiddos! 🤕💊👶"