Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Commentary:
"Ah, the Midwest – where our snow driving skills are on par with our donut-making abilities 🍩❄️ Just a quick spin, a graceful recovery, and we're back to our day like pros! Who needs a winter wonderland when you can have a winter circus? 🤹‍♂️ #MidwestPride"
5 months ago
Share →: Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Commentary:
🤔 Looks like we've got ourselves a social media doctor in the house! 💻🩺👩‍⚕️ Quick, someone call the hashtag paramedics! 🔥🚑 #DoctorPost #SelfiePrescription
5 months ago
Share →: If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Commentary:
"Let's cheers to those brave souls taking on Dry January! 🥂 Just remember, a sober socialite is like a unicorn – rarely seen and possibly mythical. 🦄 #DryJanuaryDrama"
5 months ago
Share →: I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Commentary:
"Who said burglars can't be considerate houseguests? 😅 Keeping your valuables by the front door – just in case your uninvited midnight visitors need a quick exit strategy! 🚪💰 #Priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Commentary:
"Oh, the irony of prioritizing artificial intelligence over the simple yet crucial task of preserving our beloved fries 🍟! Perhaps we should start a campaign: #SaveTheFries 🤖🍟 Let's hope Silicon Valley gets their priorities straight before we have a world run by genius robots and stale snacks! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of a modern human – the irresistible urge to refresh a page as if it holds the secret to all life's answers. 🔄💥 "Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page" – a battle as epic as any Greek myth, starring us mere mortals and our relentless pursuit of new content! 🤣🔁 #RefreshingStruggles
6 months ago
Share →: I keep my mind active by worrying.

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of keeping the brain busy by overanalyzing every possible catastrophe 🤯💭. Who needs Sudoku when you have worrying as a mental workout, am I right? 😂 #BrainGymnastics"
6 months ago
Share →: Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

Commentary:
"Who says you need a reason to celebrate? 🍷 Make Wednesday feel like the weekend with a cold bottle of wine ready to go! Cheers to turning hump day into cheers day! 🎉 #WineWednesday"
6 months ago
Share →: They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Commentary:
"Imagine a world where your body is like a sneaky ninja, always dodging the calorie count and eluding the bathroom scale 🕺🍔 No more guilt trips for that extra slice of cake! Who do we talk to about making this dream body a reality? 🍰🚫⚖️"
6 months ago
Share →: I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Commentary:
"Seems like someone's getting serious about monitoring the power players! 🕵️‍♂️📝 Bet that little notebook is more popular than the guest list at a VIP party! 🤣📓 #JusticeJournal"