168 Funny kids quotes

Trending Funny Kids Quotes 🔥

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.
Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.
Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.
I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.
I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

More funny kids quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Commentary:
"Who needs a haunted house attraction when you have little kids around to keep things spooky? 👻 No thank you, I'll stick to PG-13 scares! 🚫👶 #GhostbustingParenthood"
5 months ago
Share →: Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Commentary:
"Kids are like pancakes 🥞 The first one is always a bit strange… It's the trial batch, you know, just trying to figure out the right temperature 😉👶"
5 months ago
Share →: “So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Commentary:
"Oh, the classic parental delusion – 'My kids would never…' 🙈👶 And then reality hits: Yes, they would, and they absolutely will! 😂🙌 #ParentingTruths #NeverSayNever"
5 months ago
Share →: One of the great things about being a dad is how easy it is to launder my own desire for ice cream through my children.

Commentary:
"Ah, the magical art of utilizing your parental powers for ice cream acquisition 🍦😄 Dad level: expert! Who needs to sneak sweets when you've got mini accomplices ready to 'help' with the cravings? 😂 #DadLife #IceCreamGate"
5 months ago
Share →: The secret to a clean home? Never let your husband or children in.

Commentary:
"🏠💡 The real secret to a clean home? Keep the husband and kids OUT! 😂 That way, the mess magically disappears and you can enjoy your sparkling sanctuary in peace! ✨ #CleaningHack"
5 months ago
Share →: I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Commentary:
"Parenting: transforming infinite patience into 'Did you just eat that off the floor?!' in 0.5 seconds. 🤦‍♂️👶 #ParentLife"
5 months ago
Share →: I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Commentary:
"Living the dream of having all the perks of being a stay-at-home mom without the messy diapers and endless tantrums! 😂👶🏼💼#MomGoals"
5 months ago
Share →: My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Commentary:
"Ah, the good old days of the internet when websites screamed like banshees at startup! 😱🖥️💻 Just imagine the horror of browsing with your volume accidentally turned up! 😂 #ThrowbackTechTales"
5 months ago
Share →: You can’t keep running away from your problems, you’re getting older and your kids are getting faster.

Commentary:
"Life's way of reminding you that adulting is not for the faint of heart! 🏃‍♂️⏩👨‍👧‍👦 Embrace the chaos, because those problems aren't getting any slower!"
5 months ago
Share →: Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Commentary:
"Some parents hit the jackpot with amazing kids 🌟, while others find themselves in a brass band rehearsal every night with trumpet-playing offspring 🎺. Life's little surprises, right? 😂"