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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Standing like a flamingo at my kitchen counter eating watermelon is such a vibe.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2450 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,612

Funny Quotes Topics

15,284

Funny Quotes Images

12,612

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Making waves on Discord:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Sometimes you choose the GIF-war over your responsibilities.

Making waves on Reddit:

I don’t need coffee, misanthropy fuels me.

Reported on TikTok:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Live now on Slack:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2450 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,612

Funny Quotes Topics

15,284

Funny Quotes Images

12,612

Updated

8 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Just landed via YouTube:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Just shared via Twitch:

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Just landed via Telegram:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Shared recently on YouTube:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Trending via TikTok:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

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