91 Funny last quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: 90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

  Commentary:
  "Back in the 90s, scientists were all about cloning sheep 🐑, landing robots on Mars 🚀, and making major breakthroughs. Now in 2021, they're stuck explaining to flat earthers that yes, the Earth is indeed round 🌍. Oh, how the tables have turned! 🔄😂"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

  Commentary:
  Going off the grid without a dramatic exit is the ultimate power move! 🐻💻 Just drop a post like "Off to find bears in caves, see ya later alligators!" and watch the curiosity levels skyrocket! Who needs formal goodbyes when you can leave your followers questioning a potential bear encounter? 🤔🐾 #SocialMediaMystery

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the rhombus got voted off the elementary school island, never to be seen again! 🔺 Farewell, rhombus, you were acute one! 🤣 #GeometryGoneMissing

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

  Commentary:
  "Well, at least you'll have cozy feet to comfort you in your mid-life crisis 😄🧦 #SocksOverStress #RetailTherapy"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Last year I had no valentine, this year I also have no valentine. Consistency!

  Commentary:
  "Who needs fluctuating emotions when you've got consistent love for yourself? 💁‍♂️❤️ #ForeverMyOwnValentine"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

  Commentary:
  Looks like someone's on a diet – they're probably yogurt-ing their way to a healthier lifestyle! 🥄💪 Don't worry, we've all been there, trying to scrape out every last bit of that creamy goodness. It's like a yogurt treasure hunt! 🕵️‍♂️ Just remember, you're one step closer to your summer bod with every swipe of that spoon! 💃🍦

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like cannons finally got the memo about 'peace and love' 🕊️💥. Who knew they could have a change of heart? Or maybe they just aim for targets that aren't moving 🤷‍♂️🎯. Either way, RIP to the good ol' days of being a cannon operator. Your job prospects have truly 'shot' down 🤣🔫."

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  5 months ago

  Share →: At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the infamous "microsleep" phenomenon – a brief moment of shut-eye that stretches into a never-ending slumber, brought to you by the advanced age clock 🕰️⏰. Who needs naps when you can master the art of microsleeps? It's the ultimate power nap strategy for the seasoned snoozer! 💤😆

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the weather controller decided to binge-watch some TV shows instead of doing their job! 🌦️😴 Next time, they might want to set an alarm ⏰ before they snooze off on us! #WeatherFail

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  5 months ago

  Share →: First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

  Commentary:
  First caveman to see fire: "Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs" 🔥👀 *stomps it out* "and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that." 😂🦴 #NotAFanOfInnovation

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