Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Husband and I were blissfully happy for 25 years. Then we met.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Jan 2, 2026

3,253

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Live now on Discord:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Trending via Discord:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that things will get better.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When people talk about enriching their lives, I assume they’ve found a way to add more cheese.

Just landed via X:

I’m going to need to rewatch Idiocracy to see what happens next.

Trending via YouTube:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Funny lawn quotes

Funny lawn quotes 🌿 bring a fresh breeze of humor to your garden chores! Whether you’re battling weeds or just admiring that perfect green carpet, these witty lines will make mowing and trimming way more entertaining 😂✂️. Get ready to chuckle as you turn your yard work into a laugh-filled adventure 🌱🎉!

New funny lawn quotes 👇

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

0

2 months ago

ask, communication, dinner, free, household, humor, lawn, lawn mower, marriage, mower, mowing, multitasking, ready, relationship, tip, while, wife
Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

0

2 months ago

argument, ask, back, communication, humor, lawn, marriage, middle, mowing, relationship, silence, silent, tip, wife
Adult peer pressure is seeing your neighbor mow his lawn.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult life, humor, lawn, life, mowing, neighbor, peer, peer pressure, pressure, seeing, social, social pressure
You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, bad, bad day, day, distraction, having, humor, irritation, lawn, life, morning, mowing, someone, start, worst
Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

0

2 months ago

communication, day, expression, getting, humor, i, know, lawn, lawn sign, opinion, people, sign, think, today
It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

0

2 months ago

always, annoying, around, guy, humor, just, lawn, man, me, morning, mowing, sleep, wake, wake up
I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

0

5 months ago

activity, cost, costs, dollars, free, free time, hobby, i, lawn, management, mowing, need, new, time, time management, zero

All funny lawn quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on X this month:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

15 shares on Telegram this month:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

76 shares on Discord this month:

I deserve a love so pure that my nervous system can finally rest.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The rain is pouring. So naturally it’s a good day to eat 6 donuts.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

How silly of me to forget that I am the love of my life.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Females be cheating in healthy relationships, but are faithful in toxic ones.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m officially at the age where my favorite thing to do is sit down.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,444

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Unfortunately for the both of us, I really like you.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I will charge a 25% tariff on my steely gaze.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I fear one day I’ll see one of my posts marked as an “Exhibit A”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Just landed via TikTok:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It’s all fun and games until it’s 10 p.m., you’re all cozy in bed, and you remember you still have laundry in the washer.

Shared recently on Discord:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

Freshly posted on X:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴