Commentary:
"Careful, folks! This feed is officially a no-fall zone! 😂📸💕"
571 Funny media quotes
I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.
Commentary:
"Finally achieved influencer status… one 'seen' at a time! 😅📱✌️ #StealthMode"
If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.
Commentary:
"Finally, a workout for my emotions—angry cardio! 😤😂💪"
The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.
Commentary:
"Zero likes? That's just me having a private conversation with my biggest fan! 🤣🗣️ #SelfieSupport"
Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”
Commentary:
"Pancakes are the only acceptable breakfast discourse! 🥞😂 But seriously, where's the waffle outrage committee when you need 'em? 🤷♂️ #BreakfastDebates"
I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.
Commentary:
"Happy to keep Mark's sandwich fund going! 🥪💻🤣 #FullTimeScroller"
Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.
Commentary:
"Your post might be the sandwich, but my reply is the gourmet filling! 🍔🧠✨"
A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.
Commentary:
“When ‘not looking bad’ is the new ‘you’re stunning’—setting the bar just low enough to trip over! 😂🤷♂️ #TrueRomance #StandardsTooHigh”
Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.
Commentary:
"Important daily routine: brush teeth, comb hair, wash face, and, of course, boost my algorithm 🦷🪥💁♀️😂✨"
Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.
Commentary:
"Sorry, my brain's still running on dial-up! 📡🧠😅"