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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Job interviewer: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years’ time?” Me: “My greatest strength is that I’m a good listener.”

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

If you’re bored when you’re alone, obviously you’re in bad company.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Going viral on Discord:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Just landed via Threads:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Going viral on Messenger:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m not lazy. I just give my couch the love it deserves.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Trending via Reddit:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

256 Funny mental quotes

More funny mental quotes 👇

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

2 weeks ago

anxiety, energy, engine, exhaustion, frustration, full, gas, hate, having, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, tank
Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

3 weeks ago

dependency, done, ever, expectations, growth, health, humor, man, me, meds, mental, mental health, personal, personal growth, relationships, self-care
Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

3 weeks ago

absurdity, coping, enough, exaggeration, health, hit, humor, me, meds, mental, mental health, psych, psych meds, shovel
I need a chiropractor for my brain.

3 weeks ago

brain, chiropractor, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, need, relief, stress, stress relief
Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

3 weeks ago

good, health, humor, Ka-Ching, mental, mental health, money, saying, sign, signs, therapist, therapy, wealth
Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

3 weeks ago

celebrity, crisis, else, health, humor, identity, identity crisis, just, Kanye, lost, lost it, me, mental, mental health, relatable
Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

3 weeks ago

apart, being, emotional, emotional struggle, falling, falling apart, feelings, figure, health, hormonal, hormonal sadness, humor, just, mental, mental health, mood, sad, sadness, seasonal, seasonal sadness, sometimes, struggle, trying, woman
Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

3 weeks ago

around, brain, going, growth, having, health, humor, insight, living, mental, mental health, personal, personal growth, self-discovery, someone, therapy, walk
80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

3 weeks ago

ago, beautiful, beauty, health, history, humor, i, institutionalization, mental, mental health, reflection, think, time
Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

3 weeks ago

anxiety, basic, coping, health, humor, intrusive, intrusive thought, looking, mental, mental health, recommend, recommendation, self-help, someone, thought, thoughts

For even more funny mental quotes, hit next 👇

All funny mental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Promising I won’t tell anyone your secret doesn’t include my husband. He’s basically my diary.

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

44 shares on YouTube this month:

Starting a new show sucks. Who are these people?

28 shares on TikTok this month:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t interrupt me while I’m embarrassing myself.

98 shares on X this month:

I could post “hello” and there’d be a 20 day argument in the comments.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

When I get the vibe from someone that fitting in is super important to them my first instinct is to bite them.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Shared recently on Telegram:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Trending via Threads:

If you occasionally blow on your bourbon during a Zoom meeting, the other folks will think you’re enjoying a hot cup of tea.

Live now on Threads:

No Botox. I need to furrow my brow when people say dumb things.

Making waves on Facebook:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Just shared via Facebook:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Shared recently on Discord:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Spotted on Twitch:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Live now on Discord:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Activity Log ✨

256 Funny mental quotes

More funny mental quotes 👇

All funny mental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨