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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Why is incognito mode always associated with freaky shit? I use it to search up very obvious questions, so there’s no record of me looking dumb.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

And for my next trick, I’m going to make this first date the last date.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,377

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My mom sent me a text message so long I had to refill my Adderall prescription to read it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Just landed via WeChat:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

Just shared via Threads:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Just shared via Slack:

Doctor said I am terminally chill.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Breaking via X:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Spotted on Facebook:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Spotted on Slack:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

256 Funny mental quotes

More funny mental quotes 👇

Twitter is just a virtual mental hospital.

1 week ago

health, hospital, humor, just, media, mental, mental health, mental hospital, online, online platform, platform, satire, social, social media, Twitter, virtual
Calling a lobotomy a “lobobo” to fit in with Gen Z.

1 week ago

brain, calling, fit, gen, Gen Z, health, humor, language, lobobo, lobotomy, meme, mental, mental health, slang, z
Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

1 week ago

health, humor, joy, lead, media, mental, mental health, news, optimism, positivity, relief, security, sense, stress, stress relief, warning, watching
Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

1 week ago

balance, before, care, cycle, education, good, health, humor, idea, life, mental, mental cycle, mental health, putting, self, self-care, stress, student, student life
Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

1 week ago

appointment, care, crying, health, humor, mental, mental health, self, self-care, therapy
I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

1 week ago

again, animal, capybara, emotional, emotional support, health, humor, mental, mental health, pet, support, support animal, waking, waking up
Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

1 week ago

boxed, collector’s, collector’s edition, edition, everything, family, humor, i, illness, meant, mental, mental illness, parent, parents, sarcasm, set
Wake up, there’s overthinking to be done.

1 week ago

activity, daily, daily routine, done, humor, mental, mental activity, overthinking, procrastination, routine, sarcasm, wake, waking, waking up
“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

1 week ago

attitude, close, crazy, entitlement, even, health, humor, legal, legally, mental, mental health, personality
Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

1 week ago

anxiety, being, cause, disappointment, health, humor, irony, main, mental, mental health, people, people pleaser, pleaser, pressure, self-esteem, social, social pressure

For even more funny mental quotes, hit next 👇

All funny mental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

40 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Have you tried complaining about it?

21 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes, I feel like I need love, but the moment I finish eating, I realize I was just hungry.

41 shares on Slack this month:

My eye doctor is alarmingly young and when he said he thought I had a chalazion or a hordoleum, I thought he might be referencing Pokémon.

40 shares on Discord this month:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

25 shares on Twitch this month:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

In an effort to keep our house clean before Thanksgiving, I’ve asked my family to go live somewhere else.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

Spotted on TikTok:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Trending via WeChat:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Making waves on Messenger:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Broadcasted on Threads:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Shared recently on Slack:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Just shared via Discord:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Spotted on Threads:

Free will: where you get to choose your own adventure … and regret it.

Activity Log ✨

256 Funny mental quotes

More funny mental quotes 👇

All funny mental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨