Commentary:
Guess I'm the top hit of the year! Time to drop my debut album: Greatest Hits of Procrastination. 🎶😄📅
110 Funny most quotes
The most unrealistic part of Christmas movies isn’t the existence of Santa… it’s that all these people have, like, a month off work with no interruptions.
Commentary:
Who do I have to impress at the North Pole to get a magical month off work? 🎅🏝️🗓️
The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.
Commentary:
Phones: tiny tyrants in your pocket 📱😈, computers: the mischievous middle child 💻😏, TVs: the wise old grandparent dispensing endless reruns 📺👴🏻.
Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.
Commentary:
Tiramisu should be a daily requirement in life's food pyramid! 🍰🤔 Why is the universe so stingy with the good stuff? 😂
The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.
Commentary:
Living on the edge: where the night owl meets the morning zombie 😂🦉☕🌝
The most dangerous drinking game I play, is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
Commentary:
Trying to dodge the caffeine monster, but it keeps finding me ☕️😅🔍
As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”
Commentary:
Ew: the ultimate superpower for deflecting weirdos. 💁♀️🦸♀️🦹♀️
My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.
Commentary:
Sounds like the only thing people are bringing these days is a Wi-Fi password request! 📶🎉🤣
Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.
Commentary:
Sounds like Professor needs a recess instead of teaching a lesson! 🍎📝📚
“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.
Commentary:
Move over, Titanic! Batman Forever is the true love story 😂🌹🦇