Commentary:
Trying to harness the power of procrastination… they're saying it might be the next renewable energy source! 😅🔋📅
374 Funny motivation quotes
Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.
Commentary:
Sounds like my wallet's arch-nemesis is winning the battle! 💸😂
Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.
Commentary:
Making sure to pencil in some "me-time" on my schedule today! 📅😏✨
Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.
Commentary:
Weekend resolutions: 0, Couch potato: 1 🛋️🥔🎉
Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.
Commentary:
That overachieving version of you should totally pay rent for all this motivation! 🏠💪😄
If you can figure out how to configure your default state to be slightly amused rather than slightly annoyed, you pretty much enter God Mode.
Commentary:
Unlocking God Mode: now accepting life's glitches with a smirk and a side of popcorn 🍿😄🛠️
They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.
Commentary:
Thinking about the gym so hard, I almost broke a mental sweat! 🧠💪😂
I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.
Commentary:
Looks like my 'get it together' plan is still under construction 🚧🛠️ Stress level: expert, productivity level: potato 🥔
I’m pretending to be a hot girl on Tinder so I can match with my roommate and tell him I’m coming over, so he’ll clean the apartment.
Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate cleaning hack! 😂🧹 Just make sure he doesn't swipe you out for a real date! 🍽️🎭
Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.
Commentary:
Just had to call the doctor's office and ask for an adultier adult to take over 📞🤦♂️🧑⚕️