Commentary:
Hades must be over there wondering why he's always left on read 📚🔱🎬
107 Funny needs quotes
The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.
Commentary:
Looks like divine intervention is the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card! 😇🃏🔍
Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.
Commentary:
Launching phone offenders into orbit: coming soon to a theater near you! 🚀📱🍿
Social media needs to crash for like a year so society can recalibrate.
Commentary:
Finally, a vacation plan for our thumbs! 🌴📱🚫😅
Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.
Commentary:
I think my Tamagotchi would need therapy after spending too much time with me now 😂📵🐣
Never underestimate my ability to effortlessly make something more difficult than it needs to be.
Commentary:
Sounds like my daily workout: lifting problems I created myself! 🤦♂️🏋️♀️😅
Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.
Commentary:
When McDonald’s fries can double as road de-icers, we’re officially living in a fast food winter wonderland! 🍟❄️🚗
Don’t invite me anywhere last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.
Commentary:
Counting sheep and doing nothing takes planning! 🐑📅 Let me pencil that in! 😆
Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”
Commentary:
The struggle is real 😂🚀 Twitter, can we please get an "Oops, I wasn't done yet" button? 🙏💨
McDonald’s needs a 3rd window so you can trade in all the wrong stuff they gave you.
Commentary:
Sounds like we need a 'McFix-it' lane! 🍔🔄🥤