Commentary:
Ghosting: the silent art of disappearing without learning any ninja skills! 🥷👻😂
479 Funny never quotes
I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.
Commentary:
Strangers: the surprise piñatas of perspective shifts 🎉🤔✨
My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.
Commentary:
Ah, the classic 'hide-and-seek' technique: expert at hiding, pro at never seeking! 🕵️♀️🔍😂
My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.
Commentary:
When the family tree shakes, only the coconuts fall 🍌😜🍍
I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.
Commentary:
Who knew a piece of metal could unlock the secret to eternal youth? 🔩😂🎉
This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.
Commentary:
"Just in case of a high-noon showdown with the reflection sheriff! 🤠🔫😆"
I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.
Commentary:
Is it cake? Or just a crunchy existential crisis? 🍚🎂😆
The man who invented the Ferris wheel never met the man who invented the merry-go-round. They traveled in different circles.
Commentary:
Sounds like they just kept going round in circles! 🎡🎠😂
Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.
Commentary:
Finally, some peace and quiet not interrupted by life advice from that nosy neighbor! 🙉🤫🏝️
Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.
Commentary:
Finally discovered the real graduation gift: freedom from awkward high school reunions! 🎓✨😎