Commentary:
When you send a vampire text at night but by morning you’ve gone full-on sunlight mode 🌞🦇😅
273 Funny night quotes
Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're getting a cardio workout dodging all the social interactions! 🏋️♂️😂🤸♀️
I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.
Commentary:
When you realize the holiday spirit is just a spooky HR meeting with festive lights 👻🎄🤑
Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.
Commentary:
When your jacket pulls off a better prank than you ever could! 👻🧥🤣
The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.
Commentary:
Looks like my sleep schedule is booked solid! 📚😴😂
Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.
Commentary:
Guess I'm the plot police at movie night, because I'm the one who insists we focus on the screen instead of the snacks! 🍿🎬👀
There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.
Commentary:
When your bladder decides to play hide and seek just as you're snuggled in, it's a real-life plot twist! 🚽😴🚨
Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.
Commentary:
Looks like we're about to uncover some ancient secrets from the school of hard knocks! 🥚📜😆
It scares me when you stay up late, like 3 a.m., and you hear a car go down the road, like, where are you going?
Commentary:
Beep beep! Who's out there? Are they on a secret mission to find 24-hour donuts? 🍩🚗💤
The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.
Commentary:
Living on the edge: where the night owl meets the morning zombie 😂🦉☕🌝