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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,953

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Summer is the best because there’s always a chance I’ll see someone trip on their own flip flop.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

Just landed via X:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Just shared via Reddit:

Foot fetish should just be called feetish.

Spotted on X:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

Just landed via Threads:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Going viral on X:

“Autophagy” would be a beautiful name for a girl.

Going viral on TikTok:

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Spotted on Telegram:

Being shy is so annoying. Why is my chest hurting me, because I need to speak in public?

Live now on Slack:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

82 Funny opinion quotes

More funny opinion quotes 👇

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

0

2 months ago

exaggeration, humor, opinion, people, statistic, stupid, ten
My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

0

2 months ago

always, boss, contrast, cute, different, family, humor, i, me, mom, opinion, sleep, tell, used, work
Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

0

2 months ago

days, giving, humor, life, marine, marine life, observation, opinion, silence, time, weeks, whale
11 out of 10 women are always right.

0

2 months ago

always, confidence, humor, opinion, relationship, right, women
Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

0

2 months ago

diagram, hate, humor, love, middle, opinion, preferences, venn, Venn diagram
People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

0

2 months ago

cleaning, glasses, opinion, people, reading
Climbing Mount Everest looks super boring and dumb. You just walk uphill, are cold and at the brink of death. No thanks.

0

2 months ago

activity, adventure, boring, climbing, cold, death, dumb, everest, fun, fun activity, just, looks, mount, Mount Everest, opinion, personal, personal opinion, risk, super, thanks, uphill, walk
Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

0

2 months ago

annoying, comments, enhance, entertainment, experience, humor, i, movie, opinion, people
Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

0

2 months ago

commentary, expression, humor, knowledge, lack, let, media, never, opinion, people, social, social media, strong, Twitter, welcome, where
It is easier to pass a camel through the eye of a needle than it is to convince somebody online that they are wrong.

0

2 months ago

argument, camel, convince, difficulty, eye, humor, irony, needle, online, opinion, pass, somebody, wrong

For even more funny opinion quotes, hit next 👇

All funny opinion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Threads this month:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all of your problems. Pick the one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

65 shares on Slack this month:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

The 5 seconds in the morning, when I don’t yet know who I am, is the best time of the day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

The dead bodies on Mt. Everest remind me that it’s perfectly fine to stay home and be lazy.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Flex on strangers by asking them if they remember you.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Who you are when someone reaches over to take food from your plate… is the real you.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Spotted on Instagram:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Spotted on Facebook:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Can’t. Calling out some bullshitters on some bullshit.

Just landed via Slack:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Just shared via Pinterest:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Spotted on YouTube:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Activity Log ✨

82 Funny opinion quotes

More funny opinion quotes 👇

All funny opinion quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨