Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Who’s going to run in movies when Tom Cruise retires?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

They should invent a situationship that turns into something beautiful.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

773 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,935

Funny Quotes Topics

13,908

Funny Quotes Images

10,935

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Just landed via WeChat:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Seen just now on Slack:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Making waves on Instagram:

An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

Spotted on Twitch:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Be the reason someone burns sage.

Just landed via Instagram:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Shared recently on Messenger:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Home » Funny Pen Quotes » Page 2

11 Funny pen quotes

More funny pen quotes 👇

For even more funny pen quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny pen quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

773 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,935

Funny Quotes Topics

13,908

Funny Quotes Images

10,935

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Taking a guy from skinny jeans to linen trousers, that’s my way of giving back to society.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

It’d be nice if my bank account filled up as quickly as my laundry basket.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I can see the appeal of golf, the only sport where the winner is the one who does the least.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I have a yearning disability.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

Spotted on TikTok:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Just landed via Instagram:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Trending via Discord:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Broadcasted on Slack:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Spotted on X:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴