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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I need to social distance with the refrigerator so I can flatten my curve.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

If I was Snow White, you wouldn’t get me with an apple. You’d have to poison a taco or something.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Relationship goal: synchronizing our eye rolls.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1881 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,043

Funny Quotes Topics

14,827

Funny Quotes Images

12,043

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

Reported on X:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Going viral on Reddit:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Just landed via X:

I take issue with furniture that deliberately moves 1 inch when you’re in a rush to get by.

Going viral on Telegram:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Trending via Discord:

Did you ever stop to ask how Mercury feels about being in retrograde? No, because you only think about yourself.

Just shared via Discord:

Going to therapy is like having someone walk around your brain and going “ohhhh, this is how you’re living?!”

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1881 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,043

Funny Quotes Topics

14,827

Funny Quotes Images

12,043

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I broke up with the gym. We were just not working out.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Feeling lonely? Just glue a coffee cup to the roof of your car. Everyone will wave to you.

Making waves on Pinterest:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Just landed via Messenger:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Spotted on TikTok:

I feel sorry for Netflix era kids. They will never know the high stakes adrenaline of running away in an ad break, with the beckoning call of a sibling screaming “It’s ON!” to send you hurdling over furniture to get back in time.

Breaking via Discord:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Spotted on Slack:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Making waves on Twitch:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

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