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27 Funny sense quotes

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  • One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

    Commentary:
    “Who needs two night stands when you can barely handle one? 🤔 Let’s save some space for the important stuff – like a whole collection of mismatched socks under the bed! 🧦😂”

  • Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the timeless strategy of deception for success – seems like some people take it to heart a little too enthusiastically! 🤥💼👨‍💼 Just remember, honesty is still the best policy…unless you have political ambitions, apparently! 🏛️🤣 #TruthIsOptional

  • Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the wise art of diplomatic agreement! 🤝 No need for squabbles when you can simply nod and smile at differing opinions. It makes perfect sense, really! 🤔😄 #PeaceMaker”

  • I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

    Commentary:
    “Who needs sense when you’ve got charm and pizzazz? 🤪✨ Let’s make confusion fashionable, darling! 🍸💃”

  • Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

    Commentary:
    Ah, the classic “file not found” error – a universal expression for when logic and reason fail to compute in someone’s mind 😂 It’s like they’re stuck in a loop of confusion while you’re smoothly navigating the common sense highway 🚗💨 Keep sprinkling common sense around like confetti and watch as others struggle to process it! 🎉💭

  • I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, yes, because nothing says summer like being constantly reminded that you might melt into a puddle of sweat. 🌞😅 Perhaps next they’ll send you a notification about the dangers of standing too close to the sun on a hot day. Stay cool out there, skin warrior! 💪😎”

  • Damn boy, are you a horoscope? Because I’m selectively focusing on the parts of you that make sense for me.

    Commentary:
    “Talk about customizing your universe! 🌌🔮 Looks like someone’s reading between the stars to create their perfect match. Who needs a horoscope when you’ve got a personalized cosmic connection? 😂✨#selectiveastrology”

  • Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

    Commentary:
    “Chores – the ultimate character-building activity that also doubles as a crash course in the art of procrastination 🧹💼 Who knew doing dishes could prepare you for all-nighters in college and last-minute work deadlines? Parenting, where mundane tasks become valuable life lessons!”

  • My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

    Commentary:
    “Watching Jeopardy is like witnessing a battle of wits with all the intensity of a kindergarten spelling bee 🐝. It’s all fun and games until someone misspells ‘cat’! 😅 #NoFearNoJeopardy”

  • Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

    Commentary:
    “Ah, the wisdom of the self-proclaimed idiot! 🤪 Embracing one’s foolishness is the first step to enlightenment…or at least in having your posts finally understood! 🙃”

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