Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

They should invent a second airport for people who have been in public before.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,786

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Seen just now on Slack:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Trending via Discord:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Trending via Snapchat:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Spotted on Snapchat:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Shared recently on Slack:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Trending via Messenger:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Home » Funny Shopping Quotes » Page 16

223 Funny shopping quotes

More funny shopping quotes 👇

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

0

2 months ago

cashier, conversation, everything, hide, humor, me, retail, shopping, something, witty
I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

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2 months ago

breathing, humor, nose, observation, person, shopping, unique, Walmart
I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

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2 months ago

brand, consumerism, humor, loyal, loyalty, sale, shopping, whatever
Is it just me or does everything cost like we’re shopping in an airport now?

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2 months ago

airport, cost, everything, humor, just, me, observation, prices, shopping
I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

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2 months ago

back, brag, expensive, expensive trip, grocery, grocery store, humor, i, just, sarcasm, shopping, store, travel, trip
“I bought this while depressed” should be an acceptable reason to get a full refund on a return.

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2 months ago

acceptable, consumer, consumer rights, depressed, depression, excuse, full, humor, i, reason, refund, retail, return, rights, shopping, should, while
I always say “it’s so expensive” and then buy it nonetheless.

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2 months ago

always, buy, contradiction, expensive, humor, i, irony, say, shopping, spending
“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

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2 months ago

always, broke, budget, financial, humor, irony, sale, shopping, spending
Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

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2 months ago

crowd, haunted, haunted house, high, high school, house, humor, idea, lighting, lit, nostalgia, people, poorly, reunion, school, seen, shopping, spooky, Walmart
A woman’s G-spot can be found at the end of the word shopping.

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2 months ago

activity, end, found, fun, fun activity, G-spot, humor, joke, relationship, shopping, woman, word

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Facebook this month:

They say we learn from our mistakes. That’s why I’m making as many as possible… I’ll be a genius soon.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s so important to have people in your life who expand your snack horizons.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

After a month away and enough pasta to scare an Italian grandma, I can confirm: too much Parmesan? Never heard of her.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? Here, but fatter.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

95 shares on Discord this month:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

57 shares on Discord this month:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

16 shares on Telegram this month:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

A frittata is just an omelette for people too lazy to flip things.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

You’re so vain. You probably think me being in this tree outside your house is about you.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

Spreading quickly via X:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

Going viral on Slack:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Activity Log ✨

223 Funny shopping quotes

More funny shopping quotes 👇

All funny shopping quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨