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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡¨ has bookmarked:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has viewed:

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡§ has shared:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has copied:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has viewed:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

My showers take so long because I always hold a shower concert.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has copied:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has copied:

The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Snapchat:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You’re a β€œhaha” girl, and I’m an β€œlol” guy. It just wouldn’t work.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Trending via WeChat:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Trending via Slack:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

77 Funny sound quotes

Funny sound quotes πŸŽΆπŸ˜‚ are the wacky, giggle-inducing snippets that bring a burst of joy to any conversation! Whether it’s the quirky clatter of a spoon πŸ₯„ or the unexpected honk of a clown horn 🀑, these quotes capture the hilarity of everyday sounds. Perfect for adding a dash of humor to your day, they’re the ideal pick-me-up when you need a laugh and a reminder that life is full of delightful surprises! πŸŒŸπŸŽ‰

New funny sound quotes πŸ‘‡

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All funny sound quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Discord this month:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

83 shares on Facebook this month:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Eating watermelon and minding my own business.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s generally a good idea to start punching and throwing elbows immediately upon waking up because there may be enemies nearby.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

I love it when my dog suddenly gets up and goes to another part of the house. Did you just remember you left the stove on or something?

78 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The people that ask Grok everything are the same people that follow Google Map directions straight into a lake.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œYour account balance is low!” Brother, wait until you see my will to live.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œI made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has copied:

Setting up a camera to go and pretend you just woke up from bed is another level of mental illness.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡Έ has bookmarked:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has viewed:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡΄ has viewed:

I regret to inform you that the secret to appearing well-read is to read.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

As a parent of a teenage daughter, I would like to formally apologize to my parents for my tube-top and low-rise jeans era.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has copied:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has viewed:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡« has downloaded:

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Hot person: wow, everyone here is so nice.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, β€œno, she’s biologically mine.”

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Going viral on WeChat:

I don’t care if it’s clichΓ©, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Nobody talks about the privilege of having a friend who shows interest in your hyperfixations.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Trending via Threads:

You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Breaking via Twitch:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

Broadcasted on X:

I’m β€œI can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

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