Funny sperm quotes

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  17 hours ago

  Share →: The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

  Commentary:
  Looks like the sperm needs a GPS 📍😂 Slow down, buddy! 🐢💪

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  24 hours ago

  Share →: A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

  Commentary:
  Just imagining brokers shouting "Buy low, swim fast!" on the sperm exchange floor 🤣💸💦

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

  Commentary:
  "Next time you're feeling low, just remember – you're the Michael Phelps of sperm! Keep swimming, champ!"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the trials and tribulations of being a speedy little swimmer in your past life 🏊‍♂️ Now it's all about taking it slow and enjoying the race at your own pace 🐢 Embrace your lazy greatness, former champion!"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like Sperm-me is a rebel with a cause! 🏊‍♂️🔄 Who said swimming upstream wasn't cool? 😎"

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  6 months ago

  Share →: How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

  Commentary:
  Well, it's not like you can leave a voicemail saying, "Sorry, I'm not feeling very productive today." 🙈💦 Just imagine the awkwardness of that phone call – "Hello, yes, I need to cancel my reservation at the sperm bank… No, no reason in particular, I'm just feeling a bit… drained?" 😂 It definitely raises some intriguing logistical questions!

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone's pulling out of their responsibilities at the sperm bank! 🙈 Talk about a 'missed opportunity'! 😂💦"

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