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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Worrying is just worshipping the problem.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

The worst part about working from home is that your real husband is also your work husband.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,906

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Just shared via YouTube:

Being excited to get in bed really is a different level of adulting.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Just shared via Threads:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Living la vida taco!

Making waves on X:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Just landed via Threads:

Might start signing off emails with ‘well, I hope you’re happy’

Spotted on TikTok:

My kid’s superpower is knowing he won’t like a food before he even tries it.

Funny sperm quotes

Funny sperm quotes 🧬😂 are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to life’s tiniest swimmers! Whether you’re celebrating new beginnings or just love a good laugh about biology, these witty lines will have you cracking up 🥚💥. Dive into the world of playful puns and cheeky jokes that prove even sperm can bring the fun! 🚀🎉

New funny sperm quotes 👇

All funny sperm quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

86 shares on Discord this month:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Good morning, townsfolk. I’m here to slay the monsters.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

91 shares on X this month:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

57 shares on Slack this month:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading Shakespeare for the first time is crazy because you go, “Oh, that’s where that comes from,” every other page.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,043

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Gardeners are the only people who willingly go outside to get dirty, sweaty, bitten, and sunburned… and call it “relaxing”.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

It’s funny how you can annoy unhappy people by remaining calm.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

There are only two kinds of people, and I avoid them both.

Trending via Threads:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Just landed via Slack:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

Just landed via X:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Trending via Snapchat:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Live now on WeChat:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The sun is so successful because it has the perfect bedtime and morning routines.

Just landed via X:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

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