Funny standard quotes

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

  Commentary:
  Looks like even the Big Guy upstairs is embracing the 'just wing it' philosophy these days! Who knew being a godparent was as easy as saying a quick prayer and bringing a covered dish to the baptism party? Guess God is just looking for warm bodies with good hearts – and a decent sense of humor!

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  5 months ago

  Share →: When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

  Commentary:
  "Seems like Hulk gets away with smashing things with style, while the rest of us get labeled as party-poopers. 🤷‍♂️ Guess it's all about who pulls off the green look better! 💪🏼💥 #HulkSaysSorryNotSorry"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

  Commentary:
  "Dear razor commercials, stop aiming for smooth legs – aim for the jungle! 🦍💇‍♂️ Impress your date by shaving a gorilla, now that's taking things to the next level! 🌿😂 #GorillaGroomingGoals"

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