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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Bag of flesh that acts weird when another bag of flesh doesn’t send symbols on glowing screen.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,590

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Shared recently on Discord:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Going viral on Threads:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Just shared via Facebook:

Whatever the plot is in Barbie’s movie, my dolls have been through worse.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Live now on WeChat:

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

Trending via Telegram:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

Making waves on Messenger:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Funny standard quotes

Funny standard quotes bring laughter and a splash of wit to everyday moments 😂✨ Whether you need a quick chuckle or a lighthearted twist on classic sayings, these gems are perfect for sharing with friends or brightening your day 🌟🤣 Get ready to smile, giggle, and maybe even snort — because who said standard quotes can’t be hilarious? 😜📚

New funny standard quotes 👇

All funny standard quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

56 shares on X this month:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I hate when I get ready too quickly and have to sit on the couch, fully dressed, and wait like an idiot.

80 shares on X this month:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

44 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

16 shares on Slack this month:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

22 shares on YouTube this month:

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I grew up in a really small town. The closest thing we had to food delivery was someone egging your house.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

At no single point in the Bible does it tell you not to sell drugs.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,500

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I’m starting to understand the distant uncle.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I want my boyfriend to be so hot strangers know he’s not funny.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Trending via TikTok:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

50 shades of single.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Them: Good morning! Me: Where?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Spotted on YouTube:

I thought I liked seeing movies, but it turns out I like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Just shared via Messenger:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

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