Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Christmas is coming and you’re not.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

This body is a temple; I suicide bomb every day.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Live now on X:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Shared recently on X:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Making waves on Instagram:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Trending via Pinterest:

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sitting in an antique chair is weird, like this thing has seen so many butts.

Trending via Snapchat:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Finally a political strategy I can get behind! 🤔🗳️ Zero expectations, zero disappointments! 😂"

cynicism, disappointed, disappointment, hate, humor, never, party, political, political party, politics, satire

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

0

2 months ago

4AM, contemplation, dad, hour, humor, i, just, kitchen, kitchen table, know, morning, morning routine, routine, sit, table, used, wake, why
I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

0

2 months ago

everything, forgetfulness, humor, i, importance, important, lesson, life, life lesson, memory, remember, second, second lesson, things, writing
Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

0

1 month ago

AI, imagination, imagine, money, spending, spent, technology, train, transportation
I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

0

2 months ago

carefully, communication, gift, going, humor, i, irony, manage, say, still, thing, think, think carefully, truly, wrong, wrong thing
I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

0

2 months ago

before, breakup, girlfriend, humor, i, joke, left, love, me, met, once, prediction, psychic, relationship
I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

0

2 months ago

break, death, fear, game, humor, i, never, streak, terrified, used, winning, Wordle, worry

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large. And none of it’s for you.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

93 shares on Telegram this month:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

I need a job with a salary that’ll shock me every month.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m the Usain Bolt of running late.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

36 shares on Discord this month:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

72 shares on Discord this month:

Can’t wait for my husband to see what he bought everyone for Christmas.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Everyone has their talents. Mine is picking the checkout line filled with people who apparently have never gone through a checkout line before in their life.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

As a teen: secretly drinking in the park with friends. As an adult: secretly drinking in the park with squirrels.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I have been nothing but creepy and aggressive to you. Please respond.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Spotted on X:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Going viral on Pinterest:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Breaking via TikTok:

Sometimes you just need to eat shredded cheese straight out of the bag.

Just landed via Messenger:

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I want the dreams to chase me for once.

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hate all political parties and you’ll never be disappointed.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

I once had a psychic girlfriend, she left me before we met.

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨