Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Startup idea: Instagram, but it only shows you posts from people you follow, and they’re in chronological order.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Bro, you will never rewatch that 7-minute video you took of fireworks. Just live in the moment.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Do you ever eat a properly salted meal and suddenly understand why the ancient Romans were willing to be paid in salt?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I have thought one billion times about everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,499

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Just shared via Facebook:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

Just landed via Messenger:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Trending via YouTube:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Seen just now on Discord:

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Just landed via Discord:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Seen just now on Discord:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

3 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about losing track of time, playful and humorous in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Wow, sounds like me trying to find the TV remote! 📺😂🗺️"

amusing, confusion, forgetfulness, got, humor, humorist, i, joke, lost, minute, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Messenger this month:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

73 shares on WeChat this month:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

35 shares on Discord this month:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

20 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Breaking via Facebook:

My kids practically have medical degrees they’re at the nurse so much.

Shared recently on Discord:

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.

Just landed via Messenger:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sorry for acting weird, I am weird, and it will happen again.

Just shared via Instagram:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Going bananas on Discord:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Just landed via Facebook:

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Keep the laugh going 😂

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨