Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I really cannot be friends with picky eaters because it somehow always correlates to bigger problems and character flaws.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I hate when people ask me: “Why are you so quiet?” Because I am. That’s how I function. I don’t ask others, “Why do you talk so much?” It’s rude.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

You ever notice how fans of the worst music always focus on the meanings of the songs instead of the actual music?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,594

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Trending via Telegram:

A large group of people is called an “eww, no thank you”

Just shared via Discord:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Live now on Reddit:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the ultimate staycation plan: just me, my couch, and no missing snacks. 🍕📺✌️

alone, days, else, everyone, getaway, house, humor, i, kind, myself, need, relaxation, solitude, vacation, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

0

2 weeks ago

actually, being, concept, contradiction, discomfort, disgusting, feeling, good, hair, hot, hot water, hygiene, irony, shower, showers, skin, water
My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

0

2 months ago

amazing, center, doing, flowers, garden, gardening, humor, i, left, outdoor, where, year
All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

0

2 months ago

best, childhood, dad, family, fun, humor, memory, mischievous, mom, parenting, prank, secret, start, tell
Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, comparison, dog, hot, hot dog, humor, movy, night, relatable, sleep, tossing, turning, women
Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

0

2 months ago

conversation, fake, fake smile, hobby, humor, patience, people, situation, smile, smiling, social, social situation, stop, talking, waiting
Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

0

5 months ago

call, dating, humor, love, others, relationship, romance, ruin, schedule, schedules, sleep, sleep schedule

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

If you want people to have kind words when you pass, you should say kind words when you’re alive.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m at an age now where I start sentences with “I’m at an age now.”

56 shares on X this month:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

If the Beatles were just 4 lads from Liverpool, imagine what 400 lads from Liverpool would sound like. But y’all aren’t ready for that conversation.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

I’d trust a groundhog over a weatherman any day.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t have any patience because it takes too long.

Going bananas on Slack:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Seen just now on Slack:

In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

Making waves on Facebook:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Just landed via Telegram:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Going viral on Telegram:

Getting emotional thinking about everything SpongeBob has been through and his resilience despite it all.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Live now on WeChat:

It’s crazy how drinking poison makes you feel like shit the next day.

Going viral on Telegram:

In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The concept of hot water showers feeling so good but not actually being good for your hair or skin is disgusting.

My outdoor flowers are doing amazing this year because I left them at the garden center where they belong.

All the best memories with my dad start with “Don’t tell your mom about this.”

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨